


You Could Have This And Not Even Know It!!!!!

by ETNMystic



Series: Mystic's Original Works (Possibly Transferred From My Other Accounts On Other Writing Sites) [32]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Satire, punching up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ETNMystic/pseuds/ETNMystic
Summary: (CW: Vaccines, euthanasia, fire, dehumanization, read at your own discretion)
Series: Mystic's Original Works (Possibly Transferred From My Other Accounts On Other Writing Sites) [32]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726699
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	You Could Have This And Not Even Know It!!!!!

I have been told to keep this quiet. They've paid me thousands, even millions, in chocolate coins to prevent you from knowing the truth. But I cannot hold back any longer. The suffering is too great! Everyone must know the truth about.....Neurotypicalitis.

** What is Neurotypicalitis? **

The dreaded affliction of Neurotypicalitis or Neurotypical Developmental Disorder (NDD) is a debilitating disorder in which the host sees the world differently. It is characterized by no difficulty in communication, a normal development in social skills, dulled sensory processing, and other various symptoms that will be covered later in this article. 

** Causes of NDD **

The causes of such a terrible illness are still unknown, but we believe that one of the could be due to a strand of DNA. However large quantities of evidence via word of mouth have said that NDD is caused by mercury in the MMR vaccines.

** Symptoms of NDD **

Every case of NDD is different, but these symptoms have been seen in at least one instance and, if said neurotypical person does not have one of these, increases their chances of developing them:

-Babbling by 9 months of age. 

-Taking advantage of, and abusing, neurotypical privilege.

-Apathy, or even violence, towards those who are different, be it racially, sexually, neurologically, etc,.

-Desire to constantly be entertained by someone.

-Belief that the world revolves solely around them. 

-Conformity to the majority.

-Mob mentality and herd mentality.

-Believing that My Little Pony, Five Nights at Freddy's, bad YouTubers, anything that don't like, gives them autism. 

-Delusions of normalcy and, if they do not believe they are, desire to be normal.

-No special interests. 

-Obeying authority without questioning it.

-Normal social skills.

-Under-honesty. 

** Mortality Rate **

The mortality rate of those suffering with NDD is, unfortunately, very high. 100% of neurotypical humans die before they reach their 200th birthday. The main cause of death is still unknown.

** Cure and Treatment **

But there is hope. We are currently working on a vaccine that will eliminate NDD completely as well as an ultrascan so that doctors can detect NDD in developing fetuses. 

Treatment is very well-established, but a doctor's diagnosis is often required before proceeding with treatment. Some adults believe that electroshock therapy is the best route. However this treatment is highly controversial and should only be used as a last resort. 

Medication and NDD therapy, both individual and group, are very effective and are the most common ways of treating NDD in your child. 

* * *

** FAQ: **

** Is NDD contagious? **

NDD is not like a common cold or the flu. You cannot catch it from being around someone with neurotypicalitis. 

** Can animals have neurotypicalitis? **

Though the topic requires more research, many animals are able to have neurotypicalitis.

** My son/daughter/husband/wife/neighbor/friend/dog/cat/pokemon with neurotypicalitis is refusing to seek treatment for their NDD. They believe it's not a problem. What do I do? **

Delusional thinking is often present in people with neurotypicalitis. Understand that they have been indoctrinated with the idea that their condition is normal. Talk to them about the dangers of having neurotypicalitis. 

** Are neurotypicals dangerous? **

Violence can be present in neurotypicals. However it is not a common symptom like many people think. 

** My son/daughter/husband/wife/neighbor/friend/dog/cat/pokemon with neurotypicalitis thinks me being autistic is the problem. What do I do? **

As mentioned earlier, delusional thinking is often seen in neurotypicals. Know that you are completely fine as you are and tell yourself; there is no such thing as normal. After all, everyone is a little neurotypical.

** I have done all of the treatments and my neurotypical isn't getting better. What do I do? **

Bring it into your local lab for tests. A higher dosage of medication or EST may be required to keep its NDD at bay. 

** Should I put my child with neurotypicalitis under extended guardianship without them knowing? **

If you yourself have neurotypicalitis, you may need to discuss this with a professional. If however you are autistic, you have full right to do so as autistics know best about people with neurotypicalitis.

** Are there organizations that help raise awareness towards NDD? **

Absolutely. These are just a couple of them:

**Neurotypicalitis Speaks:** Their board is made up solely of autistic people and most of the money goes towards eliminating NDD. People with neurotypicalitis don't seem to like them or the logo, the blue puzzle piece, which symbolizes fixing the problem and putting together the puzzle of NDD, but what do they know? They can't speak for themselves. They have only average intelligence.

**Defeat All Neurotypicalitis** : Working towards creating a cure for this dreaded affliction. 

** Is NDD the result of sin or demonic possession? Can I pray it away?  **

Scientifically, no it is not. We do not know exactly what causes neurotypicalitis, but scientists have concluded that demonic possession is highly unlikely the cause. Religiously, it is subjective. 

** I want to euthanize/set aflame/kill my child with neurotypicalitis. **

We would not recommend it. People with neurotypicalitis are still people despite their condition.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Right. Let's just get right into this. This is indeed satire. If you are neurotypical and this makes you mad, then good. Now look at it the other way around. 
> 
> 1\. A lot of this is either said or implied about autistics like myself. Yes, even the demonic possession one. I didn't know until today that there are people who think autism is caused by demonic possession, but see for yourself:
> 
> http://www.gospelmedium.com/blog/the-cause-and-cure-of-autism-as-defined-in-the-bible
> 
> 2\. The last question is based on a combination of an angry letter that the mom of an autistic boy received, stories of children killed by their parents because they were autistic, and a page that posted this:
> 
> "Once we hit 50 likes, we are going to go out and find an autistic kid and set it on fire."
> 
> http://www.post-gazette.com/opinion/Op-Ed/2013/04/07/They-want-us-to-die-You-wouldn-t-believe-how-many-people-hate-those-of-us-with-autism/stories/201304070220
> 
> 3\. "But not all neurotypicals are hateful/apathetic/self-centered/selfish/etc,." I know. Like I said, this is satire. But these are also some things people have said about autistics. 
> 
> 4\. If you are neurotypical, be thankful that you have neurotypical privilege and DO. NOT. ABUSE. IT. 
> 
> 5\. Neurotypicalitis Speaks is a parody of the real organization Autism Speaks. They make autism out to be a monster. They imply that autistics don't know what is best for them. No one on their team has some form of autism. They used to, but they left because of things said that they couldn't repeat. Most of their money does go towards finding a cure, but it doesn't need a cure. We need acceptance, respect, love, etc,. What anyone else needs. Please do not support them. 
> 
> 6\. Defeat All Neurotypicalitis is also a parody of Defeat Autism Now.
> 
> 7\. Autism is NOT caused by vaccines. 
> 
> Now that Donald Trump is going to be running the country, a terrifying thought if I ever thought one, it could become worse for us autistics. He has mocked a reporter with disabilities and thinks autism is caused by vaccines. What I worry is if autistics will begin to be targeted just as immigrants are. I have seen the hate crimes the internet has talked about ever since the election and it worries me. In the conditions of our country before November 9th, I was wary of admitting I'm autistic to a lot of people. After his inauguration, what will it be like for autistics then? 


End file.
